I also want to add, I worked retail all through high school and college.  I realize it can be daunting and customers can be annoying.  I’m not looking to be fawned over, but I am looking for an associate who is polite and competent.  I did not find this at Sears.

Last week (Wednesday to be exact) I went to Sears to order a registry gift for a couple I know getting married.  It’s actually my boss.  The office ladies and myself pitched in together to get something big (folding table and chairs).   I drive a relatively big car, so I offered to pick up the gift.  Here’s what happens…

I walk in and as always, Sears is empty.  I walk up to the registry booth and there are four employees standing about two feet away talking to each other.  No one stops to say ‘hi’ or ‘let me know if you need anything!’ Of course, the computer isn’t working.  One of the employees looks at me.

“Just start typing the name”

What I said: “I’m trying, something keeps popping up”  What I wanted to say: “Aww shucks! I dun kno how to use this thang!”

“Just type it in!”

…It isn’t letting me…

The sales associate walks over and tells me how she’s never seen this happen before.  Come try this computer instead.  The computer works fine, I find the registry but alas! No printer!  So she tells me she’s going over to the office to get the copies.  I wait…and wait…and wait.  Finally, 15 minutes later she comes back like it’s only been 10 seconds.  Nothing about a customer slowing her down or printer issues.  Do you know how long 15 minutes seems when you’re standing in one place?!  ETERNITY!

Fine, whatever.  I’m over that.  I’m looking around for the table and chairs, not finding it.  I walk up to the cashier and tell her what I’m looking for and wondering if she can look it up.  I’m SOOOO SORRY! I know it’s a hassle to do this.  And of course I ask the associate who knows nothing.  She types in the same sku number about 10 times.  Darling, if it doesn’t work the first couple times, you probably need a new number.  She tells me they are out of stock, but they can order it.  That sounds great!

She asks “Do you want this shipped to you or the store?”

“It’s a registry, doesn’t it go to the couple?”

“Do you have their address?  This all I know is they are from Townsville, IL.”

“Okay.  Ship it to me.  I live 45 minutes away, I really don’t want to come back.”

I’ll spare you the details (because let’s face it, I’m already close to 500 words and that’s my limit)  But after taking down all of my shipping and billing information three times, she realizes this isn’t working.  Let’s go back to the registry booth and order it!

She pulls up the order, and LOOK AT THAT! You can ship it to the couple!  YOU DON’T SAY!  As she’s getting everything together I see $120 for shipping.  I look at her and say I’m not paying shipping.  Between the length of time this is taking and the fact that this store is out of stock, I think it’s ridiculous I have to pay.  She tells me I won’t pay shipping. — Now, when the office ladies and myself got our money together, we were expecting to pay around $220 for a gift.  My total when everything was done?  $307.  I’m looking at the receipt she gave me and 1) it only has a total 2) the total is way too high and 3) where’s my gift receipt?

I’m informed when something is ordered online through the store, this is all I get.  I could get a gift receipt if I want to return it and rebuy it.  No thank you.  I’ve been here long enough.

The next day I go into work, and I’m telling the girls about the math.  It was driving me nuts.  I knew I paid shipping even though the computer screen said “free shipping.”  On my lunch break I call the 1-800 number and tell them what happen.  They say I need to call the store.  I call the store….I’m told I need to call the 1-800 number.  This poor kid on the phone trying to help me was so polite.  He got his manager and she was a tool.  She wouldn’t even talk to me.  She was telling him what to say (and this is like pet peeve #487975394573095 for me)

The manager told the kid to tell me (see how annoying hearsay is) that she’ll take care of it, and I will get an email in two days with my refund.  Two days came and went and I got nothing.  I call the store back.  Same shenanigans.  Finally I am told to resolve this I will have to come in the store with my email print out and my receipt that didn’t have item numbers on it.  I started to explain that I live 45 minutes away and then cut myself off.  Here’s where bitch gets crazy.

I will go crazy housewife on your ass!

I drive my 45 minutes to the store.  Calmly I say to the person at the register “I just got off the phone with an associate.  I need to speak with a manager regarding shipping I was charged for.”  Apparently she knew who I was because she made some comment and said she would get her manager.  She comes back.  ”Our manager just left for his lunch break.  Do you have anything else you need to have done. (scroll back up to that picture…That was my face for a split second)  But I composed myself.  I said “I do not. I have nothing I need to do.  I drove 45 minutes for this one stop.  If you don’t mind, I need you to get your manager.”  Yes.  I’m the wench that made the manager come back from his lunch break.  I don’t friggin’ care at this point.  In the mean time, this kid comes up to me.  ”I’ve been talking to you on the phone.  I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like a pain.”  I cackled.  A real cackle.  And said “thank you it is.”

Longer story short.  The manager made a call, asked for my credit card and gave me a cash refund. (Yeah, that makes sense huh?)  He said he was sorry and he hopes this makes me happy.  I was honest.  It didn’t make me happy.  Just sad for humanity and Nick.  Because now he can’t get his snow blower from Sears and he is not happy about that.

Oh but I’m not done yet!  Just to prove how stupid this company was! Today I logged onto my credit card statement.  I was given another $90 refund on there! But because my guilt gets the best of me (I just can’t take advantage of stupid) I called the 1-800 number and told them I was given a cash refund at the store.

This is why I (really just Nick, because I don’t think I’ve ever shopped at Sears) will NEVER shop at Sears again.  The customer service was bad…and not only that but they were incompetent as well!  And really, it’s just depressing.  You read articles about companies that won’t be around much longer and Sears is always on that list…And now I know why.

Friday night Nick and I went up to Chicago for the weekend.  We got in pretty late (thank you Amtrak! I still plan on giving you a nasty phone call!)  We stayed at the Congress Plaza.  It was a convenient location and inexpensive.  As always though…You get what you pay for.  Our shower was weird, we had two small beds as opposed to one big bed….and the gym sucked.  Oh! And it’s totally haunted! Did you know that?!

Saturday was the big day.  That day, I had to endure the Cardinals playing a terrible game against the Cubs.  But on the bright side, I saw Mike Delfino sing “Take me out to the ballgame!”  …Oh and I got booed in my Ozzie Smith Shirt.

 

Don't act like you don't love Desperate Housewives!

After the terrible loss I suffered at the game, I was lucky enough to have a great night.  I met up with some of my favorite ladies of the bloggosphere!  Nicole, Lily, Lor, and Penny!  I had Nicole stay at my house earlier this summer, and I was pretty excited to see her one more time before she leaves for Paris.  Lor and Penny were in town for the 20sb Summit.  I was so excited they made time for lil ol’ me!  And Lily and I live in the same state…I’m not sure how it took us so long to hang out!  Needless to say our night was memorable.  After dinner we met up with another blogger from the summit, Sami.  He was loads of fun, and has more Twitter followers than anyone I’ve ever met!  (I’m not sure how that is relevant, but it blew my mind)  The night ended with us in a Japanese bar with a private karaoke room.  I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

…And I’m not done either! The cherry on the sundae of this magical weekend?!  BEHIND MY BACK!  My Nuggette from That Ain’t Kosher had the SMAC (Shitty Movies Awareness Club) blog ring and changed it to Shelly Movie Awareness Club.  I’m embarrassed and flattered at the same time.  And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t metaphorically peeing my pants while reading all of the posts on my way home.  Thank you to everyone who participated!  It was amazing and I truly appreciate all of the kind words…Even if you think I don’t know what a blow job is! (I’m looking at you Mandy and Nugs!)  So THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  For making my birthday amazing when you’re states (and countries) away!

Does anyone else get really excited to plan their cold weather wardrobe?  I look forward to cleaning out my closet and loading up on sweaters, boots and scarves (gosh I love scarves!) This season I’m setting goals for myself.  I’m actually thinking about planning my wardrobe in advance (does that make sense?)  Let me explain.

This summer is a great example of me doing way too much shopping for clothes that I can’t wear most of the time.  Case in point summer dresses.  99% of the dresses I own are not work appropriate.  I get about three days a week where I can actually wear a summer outfit of my choice, and that’s only counting if I go out on a Friday night.  Last weekend I cleaned out my closet.  I got rid of a ton of summer outfits that I loved, but never got to wear.  It was depressing on so many levels.  Nobody needs the amount of clothing I own.  But on the bright side,  it got me thinking about fall and winter.

I’ve sorted through what I have, and I’ve put together my three categories of clothes:  Work,  play, and special occasion.  I’m allowing myself three special occasion outfits, seven work outfits, and four play outfits.  And then on top of that, I’m trying to make sure I can mix elements of my work and play clothes.  (I feel bad leaving out special occasion, but something tells me if I go to the office in a rhinestone belt I’ll be sent home).

I’m also limiting my shopping.  Not counting things I need to replace this season (black boots, skinny jeans and a few cardigans) I’m only allowing myself to buy a total of three outfits total.  It can be my choice of any category of outfit, but I only get three.  If I choose to purchase another new piece of clothing, I must get rid of something else.  There are also certain things I have in mind that I need.  Yes, I need them.  Don’t give me that look!

Back off! I NEED this dress!

So, I’m going to try really hard to keep this plan going because while I love shopping, I hate wasting money, and I’m pretty sure that’s what I did this summer.  And let’s face it.  I bought a piece of clothing that is now sitting in a box at Goodwill crying because she thought she wasn’t pretty enough.  When in fact she was lovely, I just didn’t have time for that sort of commitment.

…That’s what I picture happens after I drop off the boxes of clothing.

Do you have a plan when it comes to your wardrobe?  Any words of wisdom?

Okay...and maybe a lot of drooling over this too.

Anyway! I’ll spare you the details on my adventures of catching up on this wonderful show, because I’m sure most people already know what happens.  I realize I’m about 6 months too late for this season.  I will say though, wow! I am loving every minute of season 4!  But with this season comes a harsh reality.   Even though this show that takes place over 4o years ago.  I see my future.  I will die mid-dictation just like Ida Blankenship.

Over the last month I have been having some problems with my lady bits.  Basically?  I’ve been bleeding.  It hasn’t been painful, and I haven’t felt sick (unless being sexually frustrated is a sickness), it is really just more of an annoyance.  I decided to call my doctor (if I ever hear you call it a “giney” I might have to kick you in your va’giney”).   And let me tell you!  This was no picnic!

When I first got to the doctor’s office they had me go have a sonogram.  I’ve seen sonograms on tv and I have friends that have had them when they were pregnant.  They put some gel on your stomach and then use that handy tool thing to look at your innards.  Nobody warned me that I was going to be violated by a medical tool!

This will forever haunt my dreams

I won’t lie, I was embarrassed.  I mean, I’m sitting there with no pants on, a nurse shoving some probe into my business and showing me my uterus, ovaries and “oh there are your bowels.”  Yes friends, I have been face to face with a picture of my bowels.  Even though it was grey and grainy, it was definitely more of myself than I ever cared to see.  And yet…I couldn’t stop staring.

After that experience I was lucky enough to go to a patient room where I was again told to take my pants off and spread my legs.  Yaaay! Vaginal exams!  I get these done once a year, and that is more than enough for me.  Having a second one in a year is just way too much.  Really…TOO MUCH.  I get tired of hearing “Shelly you need to relax” when how can I relax when there are metal clamps keeping my youknowwhat open so you can scrape and prod me.  On one visit I told my doctor I’m sorry, but no matter how many exams I have yet to like them.  She replied by telling me she has yet to hear someone say “oh goody! it’s time for my yearly!”  –Have I mentioned I love my doctor!

All of this being said my results came back, and it was good news.  I just have a cyst.  It’s not very big, and most likely my body will take care of it itself.  However, my doctor does want to monitor it so LUCKY ME!! gets to go for another sonogram in 8 weeks.  Can’t wait!

Now don’t say I didn’t warn you!

You see, I sort of have a love/hate relationship with the Harry Potter series.  For my 13th birthday I received the first Harry Potter book from my parents.  I loved it!  I thought it was exciting and completely different from anything I’d ever read before (but let’s be real here, what had I read?  Babysitter’s Club…Little House on the Prairie? It wasn’t that hard to impress me).  So for the next few years my parents would get me the new book in hardcover.  By the time I finished, I’d have a nice collection.  However, by the third book the excitement started to wear off a little.  What’s going to happen?  Harry is going to be abused by his muggle family, he’ll go to school and see his friends.  Voldemort will try and kill him.  Harry and his friends win again.  The novelty had worn off (haha! NOVELty).  After The Goblet of Fire, I told my parents I appreciate the gift but I don’t really care to read any more of these books.

Shortly after I stopped reading the movies came out.  It was sort of cool to see Hogwarts come to life.  And I won’t lie, it made me sad that I went to a high school in a cornfield when I could go to a magical prep school in some alternate universe.  As the movies came out, I’d see them, and I do think they are good movies.  However, the same thing happen.  Same story line=bored Shelly.  There was one difference though.  Harry Potter was getting increasingly better looking.  – Which I should add, since this was the last movie, I am allowed to say he was hot and not feel like Chris Hansen was going to jump out at me.

–Gosh! I talk too much and I completely missed my point.  The movie was pretty good, I mean…As good as a movie can be when you have no idea what is going on.

Are you a Harry Potter person?  Do you like the books/movies…Daniel Radcliffe now that he’s legal?

Please don't ask about my hands. I'm at a loss myself.

The race was in my hometown with the local community center.  My dad and I decided we were going to participate, and then my sister said she wanted to do it, so she joined in too.  While I am a firm believer in “the more the merrier” (Okay, most of the time I’m not, I’m not one for people in general as you know!) it was a little frustrating.  My sister is incredibly competitive.  So what started as something I just wanted to try became something of my sister turning into an actual race.  And even worse…She won.  She actually got first place in our age group.  Which is awesome…but it was sort of rubbed in my face…not so awesome.  I’m proud of her nonetheless.  ANYWAY! Enough moping! On to the positives!

Oh hai! it's hot as balls!

I’m a little proud of myself.  Ever since I got back from Vegas my workout routine has been pathetic, especially my running.  So last week I made sure to run every day.  I finished the race just over 30 minutes, and I ran 9:58 per mile.  I was hoping for around a 10 minute mile, so to be just under that was good news to me.  And I wasn’t last, so that was great news to me!  I probably could have done a little better with my time if I wasn’t a ditz.  No–for real–I missed the finish line.  WHO MISSES THE FINISH LINE?!  I ran right by it, and everyone was yelling “SHELLY! GO! GO!” I thought they were cheering me on and then I look and they were pointing towards that little runway I was supposed to go through. #Fail

I’m thinking about doing another 5k this fall.  I refuse to do another summer race.  It was hot as butt out there, and it’s only going to get hotter.  So I’m thinking this fall possibly another 5k or a 10k.  I read an article about a half marathon in St. Louis that sounds fun.  It’s a rock and roll marathon and every mile has a concert.  However I think a half marathon in October seems ambitious.  So maybe next year.  I bookmarked the site so I don’t forget.

So there you have it! My first official race!

I can’t believe Nick is going to be 26!  He is soon approaching his late 20s! OH MY STARS!  But let’s be real here, he is beyond his mid and even late 20s.  This man is really pushing his early 60s.  Between his bedtime at 9 o’clock, plaid shirts and inability to hold in his flatulence…This man is ready for the retirement home as we speak.  But that’s okay, because it’s part of his charm!

Nick is a pretty awesome guy.  He’s polite, and somewhat patient (which is more than I can say for myself).  He at least warns me when those old man farts are coming.  –And people say chivalry is dead!  I have to say, I’m pretty glad he was born.  Chances are, if he wasn’t, my life would be a lot less interesting.  Instead of sitting with him on the couch watching awesomely bad reality tv, I’d be sitting by myself watching awesomely bad reality tv.  At least if I’m doing that with someone else…I can say “oh we just make fun of it!”  When really…It’s Nick making fun of it while I shh him so I can hear what Audrina and her sister are crying about.

I think another reason Nick is pretty great is because he had a great family to raise him.  I seriously could not ask for better in-laws.  Thanks to his parents, he has solid morals and let’s be real…he got his mom’s awesome smile and his dad’s fantastic verbal incompetence (they made out like greased pumpkins…gwuad dammit! …say what!?)  And thanks to his sisters, he not only doesn’t mind when I whine about girly things, he’s also grounded because he knows if he says something stupid they will be there to roll their eyes or tease him about his human suit.

So all in all, I guess I just want to say Happy Burfday to my Nickums!